Having two million followers won’t make you less self-conscious.
But which do you value more? Which do you work to achieve?
We want to be comfortable in our own skin…and scrolling a screen rarely helps us get there. But it sure feels comforting.
It’s the discomfort of real life that will help us become less self-conscious.
They’re not paying you to get it right. They’re paying you to feel something.
It’s why we don’t care that Adele often doesn’t sing in tune but still makes lots of money.
It’s why lots of singers in Nashville are great at singing in tune but don’t have a career in music.
»» This idea plays well in the arts…less so in things like medicine and structural engineering.
When you attend a party you get to show up, participate, and simply walk away at the end of the night with an experience and an opinion. It might be fun, stimulating, exciting, connective, too long, boring, awkward…but all you had to do was show up. Not a bad deal.
Meanwhile, when you throw a party, you know every detail of everything going on. And you’re paying attention. If people don’t seem happy you wonder if the food went bad. If they’re not talking enough maybe the drinks are low. If they’re talking too much maybe the drinks are low. Maybe they’d be having more fun if they were standing over there rather than over here. Should the music be louder? Is there enough laughing? And you put a lot of effort into making this thing whole thing happen.
So if you’re an attendee, enjoy it knowing that the simple joy of the party was a lot of work for other people.
And if this is a hard concept to grasp, throw your own party. You’ll get it.
»» Party= show, event, gathering, dinner, meet up, rally, exhibition, parade…
For all of us who are music makers and music lovers…
Turn on an album. A favorite album or a brand new one. Dim the lights. Or close your eyes. No distractions. Just listen.
Listen to the beats and the instruments and the voices and how amazing it is that they can be organized into something like that.
For most of us it’s been a long time since we’ve done something like this. But music has a way of giving more the more intently we listen.
(Music is unreliable in giving anyone a career but quite reliable in opening depth in our lives)
We have a tendency to be skeptical of someones kindness but not skeptical of unkindness.
When someone is nice we wonder if they’re up to something, or hiding something, or have some ulterior motive.
But when someone is mean or cranky or critical we are certain they’re being exactly who they are and doing exactly what they mean.
What if we flipped it and simply accepted kindness…and then when someone is critical we figure there must be something else going on that we don’t know about.