Here’s an interesting exercise…
Get out some sticky notes. Write down the names of the people who get a vote in your life…people you’ve decided to let into your decision making, people you confide in and influence your norms and challenge you.
Maybe you only have one or two, or maybe ten…it doesn’t really matter the number. Seeing those names written down on sticky notes are a great reminder of whose thoughts and opinions you care about and for…but the act of writing them down has the added benefit of recognizing that everyone else is excluded.
And that’s the spoiler of the exercise. The people you wrote down, it’s only those people, no one else!…I’m willing to bet you didn’t write down a news anchor or someone you follow on Instagram…you probably didn’t write down most of the people in your family, a sports star, a rockstar or even a blogger.
And that’s the way it should be.
So when anyone not on the sticky notes gets too loud, whether literally or metaphorically...you can be kind and respectful and know they just don't get a vote.
»» A related point worth noting here…it does you no good to not care what anyone thinks. There’s an idea floating around that not caring what anyone thinks is the highest form of self actualization. It’s not. If you achieve it, the only reward is continued loneliness. Rather…knowing whose thoughts you care about…that is highly valuable and worth considering.
