We bump into someone, hear how their career is going in the music biz, wish them well but know in our head that what they’re doing isn’t going to work. They don’t have the right answers, they’re not pursuing the right things in the right ways, their plan is off, their attitude is off. We just know.
And then we don’t hear from them in a couple years.
After those couple years you hear their name pop up at a show or a meeting or in a coffee shop, and their name is associated with a cool company, a sold-out tour, a #1 on the charts.
And you think, “…of all people, THEY’RE the ones making it??!!”
Yes. They are.
Why the surprise and disconnect?
Because most of us think we have it figured out (and by “it” I mean: the right plan, the right attitude, the right approach, the right look, the right speaking flow, etc), we think others who are not doing it similar to us don’t stand a chance or as much of a chance.
We think their way sucks and won’t work in large part because their way is so foreign to us…and we’re not familiar with the strengths of their way.
So when we hear they’re doing well it blows our minds because we thought they were employing a crappy, less-than way of doing things and now that crappy way has actually worked.
We’re floored, frustrated, jealous and confused. How does their wrong approach seem to work and my (correct, perfect) way doesn’t??
Answer: Their approach isn’t wrong and yours isn’t perfect.
Answer: Their approach suited their strengths and yours can too.
Answer: The timing of others taking note of the strength of your approach is different for everyone.
If I need a tour booked I’m not calling you. You’re horrible with details. I’m calling the nerd you thought was a loser and would never make it.
If I need a front man for a New Years Eve gig I’m not calling you. You’re drab and unexcited. I’m calling the “too spontaneous” person you wrote off long ago because they couldn’t focus.
You get it.
What I’m saying is…
YOUR approach can work. YOU’RE RIGHT!
The way you do things has distinct strengths built into it already.
When we start thinking this way it removes confusion and replaces it with appreciation for others and an attitude of learning for our own benefit.
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I’m always interested in your perspective, whether affirming or dissenting. Continue the conversation anytime: gabethebassplayer@gmail.com