Back in 2012 I had some downtime while on the road in Atlanta, and adhering to democratic procedure in deciding what to do with that downtime (and only one vehicle), the gang went shopping.
I needed jeans. Actually we all needed jeans.
Black jeans.
A good pair of black jeans goes a long way in a rock band.
Lo and behold we came upon Levi’s 510 Super Skinnies. What a fantastic cut of denim for a bunch of skinny white boys. Really perfect fit and a good price too.
We all bought them. And wore them and wore them and wore them.
And then about 2014/2015, somewhere in there, the knees on mine went and a belt loop busted.
No problem. I’m an adult, I’ll go buy myself some more of these jeans.
I don’t even need to try them on, I just go to the store, find my size, purchase, come home.
THEN I put them on. Not the same cut.
Oh yes, the tag said 510 Super Skinny, but these were not the same Super Skinnies of yore. These had a weird flare, they were boxy in the middle and were too long.
I return the jeans and dive into researching this catastrophe. I click around on the internet and then finally call Levi’s to find out what happened. The “customer service” person swore to me that they didn’t change the cut, I called him a liar, and that was pretty much it.
Ok so cut to 3 years later (i.e. today). I really needed new black jeans. I’d been wearing some ok-fit jeans for a while but it was time to find THE jeans again.
I will spend what it takes, I just want them to fit like those sweet 510’s.
I start at a very high price point, thinking more money may mean a better fit.
I try on jeans priced at three and four hundred dollars. I hate them.
The salesman keeps shoving jeans over the dressing room door. $250, too baggy, $450, ankle is too wide, $150 how do they even call these skinny jeans.
I consoled the salesman and told him he’s not the first one to fail me in my quest.
But now I was tired. Tired of fighting the good fight. My spirits were down my chips: low.
I regroup by sitting outside a cafe for a minute. I hop online and make a very interesting discovery via very long reddit thread regarding Levi’s old 510 Super Skinnies. THEY DID CHANGE THE CUT!!! So many people with the same griping and complaining as me!!
Ok, I feel validated now from that customer service moron years ago.
Now that I felt justice (or at least truth) had been realized with the Levi’s situation, for some odd reason my heart was ready to make a return visit to them.
If they changed the 510’s once maybe they had changed them again?
I walk in and much to my surprise there is a new Levi’s cut called the 519 Extreme Skinny.
(I think Extreme is a poor word choice here as it incites an unhealthy level of skinniness, but whatever.)
I’m feeling lucky. I grab my size. Dressing room. Discard the dumb sub-par jeans I’m currently wearing and slip on the 519’s.
AH HA!!!!!
Mmmm, this is what I’ve been searching for all these years. Tight but not too tight. Tapered ankle but not too tapered. I just barely need a belt. Appropriate rise.
I have arrived.
I can now tackle life again at full strength.
Now before Levi’s changes things up again I’m going to buy all of them everywhere later this week.
Truly truly, the whole point of this was to tell you about some good, $50 jeans if you’re looking for some :)
p.s. Fun fact: I thought of the title of this blog post and wrote it in a note in my phone before I even started this blog, about two and a half years ago. I thought it was a funny play on the Zeppelin song and I’d write something about jeans. It only took two and a half years to get the story.
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I’m always interested in your perspective, whether affirming or dissenting. Continue the conversation anytime: gabethebassplayer@gmail.com