I’ll tell you exactly who is paying for music…
Your spouse, your kids, your family and your closest friends.
And I’m not talking about dollars and cents here. I’m talking about the people who pay the price for you choosing music as a career.
To your spouse…all your career/emotional ups and downs that have seemed to coincide with your relational ups and downs. Even just think about the course of making an album:
You think you have the songs, then you don’t, then you’re on a roll, then you might have written a hit, then its all total crap, then you want to quit all together, then it’s all good again, then the label only likes half of it, then you hate the producer, then yourself, then redemption, then….everyday you bring this rollercoaster home with you, into your living room and spread it out on the coffee table, and your spouse chooses to help pay for it.
To your kids…they wonder why a show is more important than their school play or a tour is more important than their entire basketball season. They have to process how you love them very much but also how often you have to leave them. They learn that while you’re not playing and chasing them around the house, you’re out playing and chasing something else…a song, fame, prestige, money. Your kids give you (pay you) inspiration and love, but you don’t always return the gesture…you’ve chosen to spread yours around.
To your family and close friends…it’s funny how a two-way street can slowly turn into a one way. How beautiful interdependent relationships can turn into a series of unreturned voicemails. They love(d) you but you had to go. You couldn’t give the friendship what it needed anymore to grow. They understand but wish they didn’t have to. They’ve put aside their expectations to be close to you so you can freely (with out guilt) pursue what you’ve decided to hold dearest.
Yes, these people line up everyday to pay for your music.
And I want to come back to the spouse for a second…all the pain and agony that this business throws at you, they feel it too. Yes, its different, but they feel it. Because when you’re hurting and depressed and lonely, they are too. All the uncertainty, insecurity, unknowns, unfairness and injustice of the music business…your spouse stands right there and takes it. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
So when you’re done complaining how not enough people are paying attention to you, not enough people are paying their money to come see your show…
Take a moment and remember who is, who always has been, who (if you’re willing to learn to love them) will always will be.
These people in your life are paying deeply. Very deeply. They care for you so much, they hurt when you hurt, they win when you win.
I don’t have a plan for you. But with this post in mind, here’s a start…
Love your wife. Love your husband. Love your kids, your family and close friends.
And thank them for paying for your music.
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I’m always interested in your perspective, whether affirming or dissenting. Continue the conversation anytime: gabethebassplayer@gmail.com